My last sign language paper

I have learned an incredible amount since I started taking sign language last spring. Not only did I learn how to sign at an intermediate level, but I also learned a lot about myself, how to make real friends, and that there are still a few genuinely good and caring people out there.
During ASL 1, at the Alan B show, every one sitting around me kept asking me if I understood what he was saying during his final speech. I can still see him up there signing this incredibly emotional story, and I didn’t have a clue as to what he was saying. I of course told my fellow classmates that I could understand him, when really I only caught a few words. Then this past fall I was really geared towards learning sign language and getting good at it. I even had my kids at camp this past summer learn some signs so we could show the rest of the camp while singing Beatles songs. I started speaking as much sign language as I could to my friends, and then even incorporated much of it into my lessons during student teaching. I noticed that when I was out with friends, and I was perhaps intoxicated, the language started flowing from my hands and my facial expressions. I loved it. I never knew that I could learn another language, and then I realized that I could not give it up. I begged to be allowed to take ASL 3, even though I had a Monday night conflict, and then found out about the RIT program which is the next step in my life that I am about to take on.
I have been trying to write my application essay to get into the MSSE program for a few weeks now, and for some reason it is very hard to write. They want to know “Why do you want to go into your chosen program?” I don’t know how to put it into words, I just do. I have been told by someone, who I have now grown to look up to and always seek out for advice that “I was made to be a teacher of the deaf.” Well why? I want to know. I love teaching. I have always liked helping others. When I see someone struggling I just want to help, I may not be good at what they are doing, but it is just something inside of me that drives me to go ask if they need anything.
I would love more than anything to get a job in a school district teaching high needs students math These students could be deaf, hard of hearing, or hearing, I would love every second of it. I don’t want to teach in a school where students think that they deserve anything that they want and that other people will do everything for them.
I have also learned some of my strengths and weaknesses over the last several months. I need to be more aware of how I portray myself, but I also do not need to change myself in order to fit in with what other people are expecting of me. I can not lose who I truly am, and I need to respect myself in certain situations. I have gotten so much amazing advice from one of the best professors I could have asked for, and I treasure every word of it. I was on a run the other night and I was repeating in my head several of the things that I heard that day. Life is too short to worry about the small stuff. I want to be able to be myself, make good decisions, and not rush into anything serious. “A guy would do anything just to hold your hand.” I will treasure that line forever.
During ASL 3 the first major event that I participated in was deaf bowling night. When I arrived the first thing I said in my head was “Wow there really are real live deaf people out there!” It seems so silly to me now, but the first time I tried talking to this really nice old deaf man I realized I was terrified. At first he was talking so fast I just kept nodding my head in agreement, but after I asked him to slow down I actually had a conversation! It was amazing. Then at deaf coffee hour I walked up to him like we were old friends, it was a great feeling to not be timid to talk to someone, especially in another language. Finally, when we drove to Keith Wann I knew I would make it. I followed along with most of what he was saying, and I started to really appreciate the comments that he was making.
My final test for myself, was talking to my professor on the very last night of class. My finger spelling was faster, I was trying hard not to talk as much, and I wasn’t just gesturing signs anymore. I felt so much more mature, and I realized that I am really scared now about walking out into the real world. Sign language has been a safe haven for me over the last year. I know that I am welcomed in that class and people appreciate me for who I really am. We respect each other, and want to help one another get better at signing, or even start a club. I think I am most scared about leaving behind the things that I have been building and growing over the last four years. I feel like I have to start all over again. I am not moving home for good reasons, but no I am so worried about where I am going to go, and where I am going to end up. I hope and pray that I do not lose the things that I treasure most. I want to keep those new bonds that I have made, and I only want them to grow stronger. I know that the things that are meant to be will happen, I just also pray that I am ready to handle them.